A Day in the Life of Nathan Leal -
Living with the Disease of Lupus
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A Message from My Heart

Nathan Leal - December 7, 2013

I have Lupus, there I said it!

I have not wanted to admit it. But it's true folks.

I have had this wretched disease for approximately ten years and it hasn’t been easy. Up to this point, I have kept it to myself and have only shared it with a few individuals.

Most people do not know what it is and because of that they do not understand how horrible it is.

One reason that I have kept it private is because I know how people are; some are quick to assume, judge, scoff, mock and even celebrate at the knowledge of someone else’s struggle, trial or ailment.

But I have decided not to worry about that. We will all stand before GOD someday, right folks?

So, I have decided that it was time to share the battle that I have with this disease and make it public.

For those of you who do not know, Lupus is an autoimmune disease where the body’s immune system attacks itself. A normal immune system is always on the prowl for invading pathogens, viruses, and bacteria. But with Lupus the body’s immune system attacks its own organs and tissue.

This results in a body that thinks it is fighting a sickness but is instead attacking itself. To understand what it is like, some of the symptoms are similar to what you might feel when your body is fighting the flu.

During a pre-flu battle, the human body assigns antibodies to fight the invading influenza virus. To do this, the body works overtime. This results in a body that becomes fatigued, weak, tired and sleepy.

If you can relate, this is what it is like…ALL THE TIME!

With Lupus, the body is in this fighting mode perpetually! But instead of attacking the flu, the body attacks itself.

The results are negative, damaging and life threatening. 

• The waking day is an uphill battle to find a few hours that are fruitful.
• Many joints are pained with arthritis.
• Every day is a battle for strength.
• The fatigue is tormenting.
• There is brain fog and memory loss.
• Finding energy to function comes in spurts that are temporary.
• ...other symptoms.
  

This is what Lupus does, but it does not stop there, eventually it kills you. It destroys the organs; the kidneys, liver, heart, lungs, joints…

I sometimes wonder which organ is going to go first. But I shake it off and whisper a prayer!

So how do I function with this? It is not easy and my family knows it all too well.

My wife is a gracious woman who cares for me and understands. She works very hard to fill the gaps with the children, homeschooling, helping with the ministry…

I am blessed to have her.

Is it hard? …Words cannot describe and because of the ailment, I am daily seeking for pockets of energy to pray, study, write and deliver sermons.

I must also edit articles, research and respond to emails and attend to the family.
We are also trying to have a little farm. Recently, I had pre-winter chores that required swinging a hammer.

How did that go? It was slow and cumbersome but when I am weak, He is strong!

The Waking Day

Some days are totally lost to fatigue. The average person gets about 16 hours of awake time in a 24 hour day.

But because of this disease, I do not get as many hours to be fruitful.

Some days the joint pain makes it difficult to work or even write, sometimes holding a pen is a challenge. But all of my sermons are handwritten, some of them are 50 or more pages in a notebook.

So I write through the pain…

…The work must continue.

Am I whining? No, I am sharing that I know what pain is. I know frustration! I know what it is like when a body once healthy and strong no longer wants to participate.

…But the work must continue.

I am a watchman. God called me, not only to be a Watchman but a preacher for ministry. So the work must continue.

And in this life, I can say with confidence that I know priorities.

…Devotion to my GOD.

…Devotion to this ministry because the fields are white unto harvest. There are still too many souls wandering along the hedge. They must be compelled to come back.

And in my time on this earth, I want to be used to help to fill His house.

…Devotion to my family. I have an amazing wife and children who know this battle. They know that this life is fleeting and they are one of my greatest earthly rewards.

Ladies and gentlemen this life is not about pleasure… and stuff! It is about planting for the LORD and harvesting fruit for His Kingdom…

…It is about following Christ.

…It is about knowing that our lives are but a vapor.

…It is about acting accordingly unto others.

…It is about knowing that the only thing that we get to take to Heaven are the things that we did for God’s Kingdom.

So what else could possibly matter?

…therefore the work must continue!

And with God’s strength it will continue. But I do sometimes wonder how much time I have left. Some Lupus victims only make it ten years, some live a longer life. Which one will I be?

I will be honest, I think about it a lot. But I have no idea. I am praying and asking GOD for a few more decades…if He tarries.

Will I get them? I don’t know. But if the Lord tarries, I want to live long enough to see my baby daughter grow up and walk down the aisle on her Special Day. ..Right now, she is only seven.

Priorities and Perspective

My daily goals are not complicated.

When I awaken, I ask GOD for energy to do the day’s task. Sometimes I have the energy, sometimes I don’t.

On a challenging day, I might sit down in my office to work, but after just a few hours, I find my eyes and body fighting fatigue.

“I need to lie down for a few minutes,” I tell my wife. She says, "okay.”

I lay down, get my Bible.

“God give me a Word,” I ask.

The words come. They flow. 

…another Holy Ghost download.

I tell myself, “I had better write this down.”

I get a notebook and start writing. Twenty to thirty pages later, I have another sermon. I have a hundred notebooks stacked on the shelf with these types of messages.

If only I had the strength and energy to share all of them.

This is another prayer that I have, “Lord please give me the time to share these things.”

I am holding onto that prayer request!

Why am I sharing these things? Because I wanted the public to know that Nathan Leal struggles.

I also want to share that I do not have a lot of expendable time.

Sometimes I receive letters from listeners, “Call me, Nathan.”

Folks, I would if I could but most of my functional moments are spent working on my messages that I must share...

…and time with my family.

I do not ignore the requests on purpose. I am not a diva, I am just sick.
Why hasn’t GOD healed me? That is a billion dollar question.

Do I have the faith?  Indeed! I also have the faith of my family. They would love a healing.

So why has it not happened? I don’t know.

Is there a natural remedy out there? Again, I don’t know. Over the years I have heard of a few that claimed to be. -  Eat this… Drink this… take this… do this… stay away from this… don’t touch that!

I have had this horrible thing for ten years. I do not like it. But I have to believe that in God’s sovereignty. There is a reason.

God knows, He has my attention and having this ailment sure does things to my perspective.

Before this disease my eyes were a wide angle lens. Today with this disease they are more focused on things that matter.

Is this why HE allowed it?

Over the past few years of ailment. God has taught me a few things. I have noticed that the more broken and ailing my flesh is, the better I hear Him.

Is this the trade off?
…God’s secrets for my pain? I do not know.

Dearly beloved, I want to learn many more things so that I can share them with you. I also desire the strength to do it and while I am still here on this earth this is my passion.

So there you have it…a peek at my journey.

For the few of you who support this ministry. My family and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you for remembering us.

Las week, I released the beginning message of a very important series. If you have not heard it, please do so.

Some of the email responses about the last message are telling me that it is life changing. Some are telling me that the Holy Ghost was present as they listened.…thank you Lord.

The next part is coming and I believe that it will be life altering for many. So please be looking for it. It will be out in a few days.

The message will continue a powerful theme. How can we get there?

“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.”
Revelation 12:11

I believe that we can get there. I seek to do a part to help in that journey.

Brethren, what I share today is to offer some disclosure about me and this ministry. I welcome your prayers. By faith I look forward to serving you for years to come.

In Christ with Love,

Nathan Leal
Watchman’s Cry Ministries

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